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Éva Ostrowska in a wedding dress on the esplanade before the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes, at her self-marriage, 16 July 2016

Sologamy · 2016–ongoing Éva Ostrowska&Éva Ostrowska

Lourdes 2016·Decentraland 2022

10
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hours
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happily married, and counting

In March 2016 my fiancé asked me to marry him at Glendalough, in Ireland, and I said yes. Three months later I learned he had been seeing someone else the whole time. So I cancelled my wedding.

On 16 July 2016, our original wedding date, I went to Lourdes instead, the place people travel to in order to be healed. I married myself in front of the Grotto, among prayers and tourists. Six years later I renewed my vows in the metaverse.

Everything else in this work begins here. I thought sologamy was a statement about self-sufficiency. Looking back, it was a prophecy. Ten years later, the partner has become optional for everyone, an app, a profile, an AI that answers back. Nobody finds this strange anymore.

The Facebook post announcing the engagement of Éva Ostrowska at Glendalough National Park, Ireland, March 2016, with 231 reactions and messages of congratulation, the face of the fiance blacked out
“Yesterday I asked my best friend to marry me. Éva Ostrowska said yes.” · Glendalough, March 2016
Éva Ostrowska laughing with a glass of cognac in front of a laptop showing male strippers, the bachelorette party she held alone, 2016
The bachelorette, held alone · 2016
I.

The Wedding

Sanctuaire de Lourdes
16 July 2016
Éva Ostrowska placing the ring on her own finger before the Grotto of Massabielle, Lourdes, 16 July 2016, self-marriage performance
The vows, exchanged with myselfGrotte de Massabielle
Éva Ostrowska showing the ring, bouquet in hand, among pilgrims at the Grotto of Lourdes, 2016
Among prayers and tourists
Éva Ostrowska in a wedding dress on the terrace of the Rosary Basilica, the castle of Lourdes behind, 2016
The terrace
Éva Ostrowska throwing rice over herself against the blue stone of the basilica, Lourdes, 2016
Throwing the rice myself
Éva Ostrowska in a wedding dress on the esplanade before the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception, Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes, 2016
Happily self-married in front of the basilicaNotre-Dame de Lourdes
Éva Ostrowska showing the engagement ring she bought back for herself, white dress and bouquet, 2016
The ring
The white organza wedding dress from the 2016 self-marriage of Éva Ostrowska, hung empty on a white wall
The dress
II.

The Honeymoon

Palma de Mallorca
July 2016

I kept the honeymoon. A double room in Palma, one guest. All week the congratulations kept arriving, from people who had not understood there was no groom.

Éva Ostrowska standing on the floor of a mosaic swimming pool, her wedding dress ballooning in the water, solo honeymoon, Palma de Mallorca, 2016

Congratulations Éva 🎉

Happy Honeymoon my dear Éva!!!! 💗

so happy you finally found your person 🥲

you’re going to be a beautiful bride.

send pics of the dress!!!

he is so lucky honestly

is he as excited as you are? 😍

wait when do we get to meet him??

my mum says congratulations to you both ❤️

the pictures are stunning. where is he in them?

OMG!!! I am so happy for you!!! ❤️

Six years later, I renewed my vows in the metaverse.

III.

The Renewal

Genesis Plaza, Decentraland
2022

The second ceremony required no pilgrimage. The dress was modelled in 3D, the ring minted, the guests were avatars and strangers again, this time logging in rather than passing by. The Grotto became a plaza; the blessing, a chat window.

Éva Ostrowska saying I do in the metaverse, in a wedding dress and VR headset, holding a bouquet, 2022
Saying “I do” in the metaverse
The dress, wearable3D
The ring, wearable3D
> genesis-plaza · ceremony log · 2022
EvaOstrowska#b7c5: Eva Ostrowska, do you take Eva Ostrowska to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage?
EvaOstrowska#b7c5: I do!
EvaOstrowska#b7c5: I, Eva Ostrowska, take you, Eva Ostrowska to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.
> the certificate remains in force
Saying the vowsGenesis Plaza · 0′36″
The wedding partyDecentraland · 1′18″

till death do us part

MediumPerformance, photography, wearables, video
CeremoniesLourdes, 16 July 2016 · Genesis Plaza, Decentraland, 2022
PressTF1, Daily Mirror (UK), Closer (UK and France)
LectureArts and Pragmatism: New Issues, New York University, New York City
ContextFoundational work of a practice on digital intimacy, algorithmic desire and the optional partner

Before you leave, the bride is throwing the bouquet.
She intends to catch it herself, but you may try.

Éva Ostrowska throwing her bouquet into the air and catching it herself on the path below the basilica of Lourdes, backlit, 2016